


You're Not Me

by FleaBee



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dimension Jump, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleaBee/pseuds/FleaBee
Summary: Rimmer slept through everyone sneaking out for a fishing trip, now he's got this better alternate version of himself disrupting his brooding time.





	You're Not Me

Rimmer jumped out of bed like he did every morning and started doing his exercises and prattling away to Lister like he'd been awake for hours. He didn't need Lister thinking he was a sloth he lounged around all day, no siree. He turned to the bed and discoverer that Lister was not in bed. He stopped his exercise and relaxed, he didn't need to impress anyone since he was on his own.

"Holly, my morning running gear," Rimmer called out waiting for the change which was normally instantaneous. "Holly! He yelled. Normally she would appear on the screen right away. "Holly?" He tried again. Still nothing. He grumbled about the computer ignoring him which she did at times. Or she'd turned her hearing off again. Only last week Holly had turned her hearing off when Lister was playing his guitar and then forgot to turn her hearing back on for several hours.

He slumped into his chair, trying not to fall through the boundary. A note was sitting directly in front of him. He snorted wondering just how many spelling mistakes Lister had this time and if it would even be readable. It wasn't like Lister to leave him notes, but it had happened a few times.

He struggled to keep his temper under control as he read through the note which was legible even if only just. Lister only had one curry stain on the paper a miracle considering his fingers were permanently stained.

They'd all left him, they left him all alone to go fishing! They didn't even tell him and worst of all, they'd taken Holly with them. While he didn't want Holly's company, he was helpless without the computer. That meant he was stuck in his pyjamas until they came back. No outfit changes, no showers, teeth brushing, food or drinks, nothing to read and the scutters had apparently gone on this fishing trip as well. He was worthless! More worthless to the rest of the crew then the scutters! That hurt and he welcomed the pain these days because he felt like he was still alive when his heart felt like it was going to break.

He was alone of the big red ship by himself. He hated being alone more then he hated being around a small group of people but less then he hated being around crowds. Crowds were something he didn't have to worry about anymore.

Hoping it was a lousy joke Rimmer walked through the ship to see if they had left yet, or if it had been a horrible joke. He wouldn't put it past Lister to have gone to another part of the ship just to watch how he would react. When Lister was bored enough, he would do almost anything. And causing Rimmer pain seemed to give Lister great delight.

Getting to the hanger, he saw that Starbug was gone. Lister would not think to go that far for a prank. He was alone. He was alone and helpless. He couldn't do anything for himself. Useless!

It was just like the time his whole family had gone on holidays without him when he was eleven. Two whole months he'd spent on his own. It had left a mental scar that he'd never entirely gotten over.

He hated being on his own, yet he never seemed to be able to make any connections with anyone. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make any friends. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. He tried being himself, he'd tried being like his brothers, like the cool kids in school. Doing everything others wanted of him. He Read books to try and learn how to make friends. Tried to hypnosis kids to be friends with him. But nothing had ever worked. He was a lost cause who was destined to be alone for even his death. He'd tried so hard to be a good friend and to make friends. He would think they were friends and then they'd laugh in his face and tell them they were just using him.

He actually thought he'd made good progress with being friends with Lister. That the hurtful things they said to each other was them being buddies, friendly banter, now he wasn't so sure, and he'd been reading everything about their relationship wrong all along. He still had no friends he was always alone. Why did someone who hated being alone have to be destined to be lonely? Why did Holly have to bring him back, so he was just as lonely in death as he had been in life?

Wallowing in self-pity and rejection, he wandered down to the diesel decks. It was no 20th century power poles, but it would have to do. He had to keep himself preoccupied with something, so he didn't keep remembering that no one wanted him. No one missed him when he died. Holly had only revived him because he was the only person on the ship worse than Lister, to make Lister fell because at least he wasn't as hopeless as Rimmer. No one was as hopeless as Bonehead Rimmer. He'd heard that all his life and he was yet to meet anyone else who was as useless and unliked as himself.

He hid away so that no one could find him when they returned. He wondered if anyone would even notice. If they did, they would be hoping that they never saw him again. Maybe he should turn himself off, but he needed Holly for that. When Holly returned, he'd get the computer to turn him off. He'd spend the next couple of weeks here trying to find something redeemable about himself, and if he didn't, it was shut down time. He could not stand to existence on his own. It was too painful to go on.

 

"Are you sure he's around here?"

Rimmer jumped and then curled himself into a smaller ball. Someone was on the ship, and it wasn't Lister or Cat. Unless they were using a voice recorder to trick him. He didn't hear a reply, but the person was talking to someone, probably over a radio. He peaked around the corner, sensing they were close. He took one look at the person. This was not a joke from Lister or Cat.

Rimmer couldn't stop himself from talking. "Who are you?" He wondered if he was going space crazy in the time he'd decided he was going to be a hermit which was only a few hours.

Standing before him was someone that he swore was him, except better looking. His nose even looked smaller which meant he either been born better looking or had the money for a nose job that Rimmer had always wanted but never could afford, and was frankly afraid of going under the knife to get even if he could afford it.

They looked alike, and both examined every inch of one another.

"I'm you from another dimension," said the man with a heroic sounding voice.

Rimmer instantly hated the man even though it was himself. A better version of himself.

"Sorry for getting you out of bed."

Rimmer grumbled to himself, who goes to bed on the diesel deck. "I wasn't in bed."

"Then what are you doing wearing pyjama's?" The other version of himself asked. "In the middle of the day ship time as well he looked towards a display that always had the time and date on it.

"I cannot change my clothes without the ship's computer. Otherwise, you wouldn't see me in my pyjamas." Rimmer crossed his arms over his chest, self-conscious about having a stranger see him in his pyjamas even if the person was another version of himself, primarily because it was another version of himself.

"Why don't you use the holographic interface?" His other self asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"It doesn't work anymore," Rimmer replied. He'd tried to use it once before when Holly had first turned him on. It was broken by McIntyre before his hologram corrupted and he didn't want to ask Lister or Kryten for help. He didn't want them to know that it was broken. He wanted to do things for himself. He had been trying to instruct the scutters to fix it without getting far. He wanted to show off his ability to do things on his own without Holly when he fixed the room himself.

"What happened to the ship's computer? How long have you been stuck wearing your pyjama's? Are you the only one around?" The other him asked in the silence of the ship.

Or as silent, as it was with the hum from the diesel decks. The noise that would drown out all the voices in Rimmer's head. The voices that told him he was worthless. Those same voices would go over everything that had gone wrong continually. Down here was the only place he could get away until the self-doubt and hatred was gone.

"I don't think I need to answer your questions. You're the one that is in my home. You tell me what you are doing here." Rimmer said getting some backbone for a few moments.

"I'm a Commander in the Space Corps special forces friends call me Ace," the other version of himself said with a wave of his hair that reminded Rimmer of Professor Lockhart from the second Harry Potter movie. "I'm here as a part of a dimensional time travel project that brings me to other Arnold Rimmer's the same age as myself. It apparently works even if you're dead. Commiserations old chum."

"I'm not your old chum," Rimmer said he went to cross his arms but found them already crossed. He swapped the position of his arms.

"Can you show me where your holographic suite is, fix things up for you so you can be a bit more independent." The other version of himself that he decided just to call Ace offered.

Rimmer chewed his lip not sure if he should accept the offer or not. He didn't trust this person, and he certainly didn't trust himself. What happened if this other version of himself broke the holographic suite and caused him to be turned off. But didn't he want Holly to turn him off already so would that be a bad thing if he was broken by this familiar stranger?

"Thank you old love," Ace said into his radio. "My ship's computer just gave me the directions to your holographic suite."

Rimmer was helpless to stop Ace as he walked towards the holographic suite and just did as he pleased.

"Nasty damage," Ace said shaking his head at the computer. "I'm going to have to take you offline."

And before Rimmer could object he was taken offline.

 

Rimmer looked around seeing the other version of himself looking far more tired than earlier and far more humble.

"How long have I been offline?" Rimmer asked looking around, it felt like only a moment, but Ace had a shadow of a beard trying to grow through. He even grew better facial hair then Rimmer did. His came through all patchy and thin.

"Two weeks," Ace said. "Give it a go."

Rimmer walked over to the holographic display giving it a quick touch and jumped back before he touched it again. It didn't shock him like the last time he tried to use it.

"I've updated your database, so you have some more choices of books, clothing and entertainment and better self-help diagnostic options. You're no longer a Class One hologram old chum. Class three. I wanted to go with class five, but class three is the most stable that can run off your ships systems without a massive overhaul of the entire holographic system and your ship's computer."

Rimmer looked at the display in amazement, seeing many books that he always wanted to read but couldn't because they had not been in the holographic library and getting others to hold his books and turn the pages didn't last beyond five pages at a time and often less.

The first thing Rimmer did was change himself out of his pyjama's and into his uniform which was an embarrassment for a moment since it revealed he was only a Second Technician while hotshot Ace was a Commander. Ace didn't say anything about his rank.

"I've been in this dimension long enough, new dimensions to explore and whatnot. Been a pleasure, Arnie, enjoy that holographic interface." Ace said and just like that he was gone.

 

Rimmer was sitting in the observatory in casual clothing with his new holobook. He didn't know why he wanted to go fishing with the others. This was relaxing being on his own like this and able to read without interruption and look up at the stars and just think about nothing. He looked up when he heard someone coming up the stairs to see Lister was back.

"Ah you're back," Rimmer said, a little disappointed that he only really had a day to himself since he was offline most of that time. "Anything interesting happen during your fishing trip?"

"Nah, Cat complained the whole time because of the salty water and the cold wind were ruining his hair, suits, skin and nails. And the biggest complaint was about no fish," Lister replied. "I thought you would be more angry or crazy. What did you get up to while I was gone?"

"I was angry at first," Rimmer admitted. "Then I realised I had time to read my book without you or anyone else bothering me. Nothing interesting happened here either." He purposely failed to mention his Dimension Jumping better self and the offline time.

"I'm heading back to our room to watch a movie, I'll even make it one you like," Lister asked sounding desperate for his company.

"I'll be down after I finish my chapter," Rimmer replied looking back to his book.

After Lister was gone, he was surprised to see Holly appear on the small monitor that was in the observatory.

"Nothing interesting happened did it," Holly said in a knowing voice. "So you didn't get visited by a different version of yourself from another dimension who upgraded the Holographic suite to make you a class three hologram and upgrade some of my servers."

Rimmer's mouth fell open, why did he forget Holly would see what happened from the security camera's. "He's not me, Hol. We're different."

"Yes, he is different isn't he. I noticed something was different with myself right away. I actually have an IQ again, it's not my original six thousand, it is however no longer in the triple digests. I have an IQ of four thousand two hundred and six. Don't worry, I won't tell Dave. I'll let him think I still have a low IQ, more fun that way," And Holly vanished off the screen with a wink.

Rimmer picked his book back up, he wondered if Ace changed something since he didn't feel as angry as he normally did. He didn't want to die anymore. It didn't hurt to be alone. He found he didn't care. He didn't like being angry all the time, and as much as the hurt made him feel alive, he didn't like feeling hurt, it had been his most common feeling in life, he didn't want it to be his most common feeling in death.


End file.
